Legends of New Wexwood
Below you can find several different festivals New Wexwood is famous for, or would be if people were allowed to talk about them outside of the town.
This picture is not of an actual mermaid, lest you be so gullible. It is a picture of a local performing during the Mermaid Festival. The photographer, who will remain anonymous by request, accidentally took the picture while trying to adjust the resolution on their camera.
Mermaids
Mermaids are hotly contested creatures in New Wexwood. While they most definitely make up a part of our past, most New Wexwoodians rightly believe there’s no truth to the rumors mermaids really exist. However, there is a small contingency of townspeople who firmly believe mermaids exist and communicate with the local gypsies.
Some obvious liberties have been taken with this artistic depiction of the chupacabra, but seeing as there is no other evidence of their existence, this is regarded as the best representation available.
Chupacabra
Chupacabras are regarded as South American ‘creatures.’ One wouldn’t think chupacabras would be so prevalent in New Wexwood, but they are. To be perfectly honest, sarcoptic mange can be devastating to animals, and is terribly contagious, so if an animal contracts this type of mange, most often they lose their hair, and any animal without hair is pretty scary to look at. Especially raccoons, foxes, and coyotes. And since we’ve never actually had a chance to distinguish between a raccoon with sarcoptic mange and a chupacabra, scientifically speaking…it’s easy to think you’re dealing with a chupacabra digging around in your trashcan rather than a mangey raccoon when that animal hisses at you. Also, chupacabras typically attack goats, or so we’re led to believe, and although there are some large herds of goats in New Wexwood, none have ever been attacked or killed. Some people say it’s because New Wexwood goats are able to fly, but that is most definitely unproven.
Most of the sightings have been reported around NWX's single spring pool. Many believe the Yeti's lair, undoubtedly a cave, is located near the pool. However, no one has wanted to explore the area because, you know, Yeti.
Yeti
Yes, the Yeti is supposed to be part of the Tibetan landscape, not an inhabitant of New Wexwood’s mountain range. Unfortunately, in 1947, a local man swore he ran into a Yeti in one of the abandoned apple orchards on Mt. Malcolm, and since then, approximately 1,200 people have declared they, too, have seen a Yeti. There is no real way to substantiate the sightings, and since they can’t be substantiated, the Yeti has become a local figure.
Currently featured on the homepage, this photo has become incredibly popular among NWX locals. There is some debate as to whether this is actually Bigfoot or just Sonny Blankenship wearing his ridiculous bear-skin bodysuit. Regardless, you can pick up a print on postcards all around town.
Bigfoot
Much like the Yeti, Bigfoot is not usually spotted in our neck of the woods. However, that hasn’t stopped people from insisting Bigfoot is alive and well in New Wexwood. There are quite a few more sightings of Bigfoot than there are of the Yeti. Probably because there’s a small “skyclad” commune that has squatted illegally for decades in the New Wexwood mountains, and they tend to run through the woods yelling at the unfortunate hikers who happen upon them. And hikers tend to report sightings of unwashed naked men who yell at them to the police, which means most reports are attributed to Bigfoot sightings, but, generally speaking, the reports are taken with a grain of salt.